Happy Birthday, Garrett Tate!

My boy, my middle child, is 6 today. I've started this post and restarted it so many times. It's difficult to find the words to express how much I love this kid, how blessed I feel to be his mom, and how absolutely wild I am about him.

This morning I woke up at 7:30 and heard little footsteps downstairs. I was alone in bed, (Joel left at an unreal hour for a business trip), and I listened intently and tried to figure out who it was. I could tell it was only 1 child because there were no voices. It couldn't be Madeline because she would have turned on Hannah Montana, stealing a little quiet time before her brothers woke up and protested. I knew it couldn't be Carter because if he did get out of bed by himself (unlikely), he would have for sure come and crawled in with me. It must be Garrett. I got up and walked silently down the stairs to watch my 6 year old with the long arms and longer legs working intently on a new lego project from one of his buddies last night. I stood and watched him work for a moment before he noticed me. So intent, so quiet, so still. There are moments still- few and far between, but they still happen- moments when I get a glimpse of the baby, the toddler that he once was. When I wake him up in the morning, or last thing at night when he curls up in a (relatively) little ball and lets me hold him. When we're sitting on the couch together watching a movie and he'll absent mindely put his hand on the back of my head and hold a handful of my hair. But most of the time, the things I glimpse are the future. The boy, the young man that he's growing into. That's what I saw this morning as I stood on the stairs. The quiet concentration of a determined boy. It's both exhillarating and heart wrenching to watch kids grow up. I'm honored to be a part of it and I know it's the way things are supposed to be. The alternatives to kids growing up are nothing we'd want. But it is so bittersweet in that it just happens so fast.

What I love about Garrett is his complete individuality. It's so ironic because Miss Madeline is so much like me. And I love that about her. But Garrett is so NOT like me. At all. Like I can not even fathom sometimes how his mind works. And I love that so much about him. I admire how he is empathetic, but is not a 'pleaser'. He doesn't let people in just because they are related to him or have know him since birth. He let's people in once he knows he can trust you, once you've really earned it. And once you are in? You are IN. He is loyal and generous and he will do anything for you.

He is stubborn and strong willed, but also compassionate and very affectionate. When I was pregnant with him and just couldn't imagine having a boy, people told me, "There is just something about a boy and his mama." There really is.

I love you Garrett. Every single day I thank God for letting me be your mama. Your daddy and I are beyond blessed to be your parents. Happy, happy birthday to you, sweet boy.

Tech difficulties, so no pics tonight . . .