Awkward Workouts: Part 2, OR "Thank goodness for Boy Scouts"

The day after my bike and running with helmet workout, I had a rare hour and a half, (maybe I'm overusing the word 'rare' in these posts?), when the pool was open and I had no children with me.  I had to 'work' (hardly qualifies as a job) at 1:30, but I knew I had time to swim beforehand.  Ms A had told me that to get my 500 yard swim time to register for the tri, I should actually get in the pool and swim 500 yards.  All morning I considered doing this.  I literally got a stomach ache thinking about it.  Going to the pool is SO INTIMIDATING for me.  Really, really scary.  For lots of reasons.


#1- I have to wear a swim suit.
#2- My suit is cute, but it's not an 'athletic' suit, so I feel a little like a fraud right up front.  (I do realize I am the only one who cares about what I wear.  That doesn't make me feel any better.)
#3- Although I am not afraid of swimming, and not afraid of water, I am not confident at the whole breathing thing, nor putting my head under the water.  Which makes me feel like a fraud again.
#4- I might not know anyone at the pool.  (Not true.)
#5- I might know a lot of people at the pool.  (Bingo)  Or actually, I may know ANY person at the pool.  It would only take 1ish to send me to the fetal position.  Also, if I ever see you at the pool and pretend I don't see you, or don't KNOW you, please don't take offense.  It's a defense mechanism and I just can't quite kick it.


So, I made myself go to the pool.  I bought a family 6 month pool pass which I am really excited about- our first pool pass!  I was stressed about going, but I did it.  I walked in the door.  And I saw Ms A, which even taking into consideration the above #5, was a relief.  Because she's nice and not judgey, yet she still knows what she's doing.  She offered me her lovely swim googles, and even though I declined, she highly recommended that I borrow them, and so I did.


Then I swam 500 yards.  I did it!  I swam 500 yards.  Granted, I stopped a time or 2, so technically I'd still be in danger of death by drowning in Hagg Lake.  But the times I stopped were quick, 5 seconds, (10 maybe, but I don't think so).  I can honestly say that I swam in a way that I would be satisfied to swim at the Tri.  Not proud, but satisfied.  I did a few different styles, a little of this and a little of that, and I didn't even attempt the breathing or head in the water business.  It took me approximately 15 minutes.  Not too speedy, but I never had to flip on my back, which was my emergency plan!  I can only improve, right?  So after I'd finished the 10 laps (20 lengths), I decided to do a lap on my back- a cool down sort of thing, to relax and revel in the fact that I can, actually, sort of swim that far!  I put Ms A's lovely (I think brand name and probably expensive) goggles on top of my head.  They felt tight, and I had a pony tail in, so I made sure they were tight around it, and then I went on cool down lap.  It was nice, so relaxing, and revel I did.


Until I completed the lap and realized that the lovely goggles, so generously loaned to me, WERE NOT ON MY HEAD ANYMORE.  S#!%!  So I did another lap, this time completely vertical, holding on to the wall, squinting and peering towards the bottom of the pool.  (Embarrassing!  Enter reason #6 that going to the pool stresses me out.  "I may, for some reason, need to shimmy along the edge of the pool, squinting and peering in hopes of locating something, while every other normal person in the building is actually swimming laps.")


The good news is that the goggles were found.  The local lifeguard spotted them!  


The bad news is that she spotted them IN THE VERY DEEPEST DEPTHS OF THE VERY DEEP END OF THE DEEP DEEP DEEP POOL.  S#!%!  No BUENO.  There may have been a day that I was okay with attempting to get TWELVE FEET away from the nearest oxygen, but then I was 10 or so.  (And realistically not even then.  When I was 8 I kept my entire family treading water underneath a diving board for 30 minutes because I was maybe going to jump off of it, and I wanted them to catch me.  I never did it.)


I asked the lifeguard hopefully, "Do you have a net?"

She shrugged and said, "Not that I can get to right now."  Helpful.  I saw it hanging on the wall right there, not even lying.


Then she yelled, not even kidding, across the length of the pool to an older gentleman, "Hey George!  GEORGE!  Can you get to the bottom of the pool to get these goggles?"  He kept pointing to his ears, indicating that he can't because of problems with his ears and the pressure (or something?), but the lifeguard just thought he meant he couldn't hear, so she kept YELLING to him, while he kept pointing to his ears with more and more emphasis.  If I wasn't so mortified and also stressed, I would have probably been actually laughing out loud.  Good grief though!  Mortified!  Yes, please, let's draw attention to the idiot who thought she could swim 50 meters with goggles on her head.  Bwahahahahaha!


So the lifeguard finally figured out that George wasn't up for retrieving the goggles and continued to inquire at other 'regulars' around the pool.  She asked 3 or 4 other people, and no dice.  I was beginning to be fairly sure that I was going to have to conquer my fear of swimming in public AND my fear scuba diving (I exaggerate!  Sue me!) in the same day.

Enter, "The Boy Scout."  I had noticed The Boy Scout a bit earlier, as it is unusual to see a school age kid at the pool during a school day.  And then, he was swimming laps, as in, LAPS IN THE LAP POOL LIKE A GROWN UP (well, not like me because he wasn't totally freaking out internally, but like some grown ups) while his mom watched.  Well, the lifeguard asked The Boy Scout's mom if The Boy Scout could get to the very bottom of the pool, and sure enough he could.

And he did.  And I was SO relieved.


The lifeguard gave me back the goggles, and she said, "He even earned a badge for it!"  I was thinking it was the equivalent to the stereotypical 'helping an old lady across the street' badge, and wouldn't that have been the perfect end to the story?  But no, it was apparently for 'retrieving something in water deeper than your head' or something.


I returned them to Ms A, told her the bulk of the story, and came home and decided to buy my own d#&^ swim goggles before I swim again.  (Which, incidentally, is Monday at 5:45 am, so good luck to me, right?)


Here's to hoping that the rest of my triathlon training is less eventful than the past two days.


Oh, and yes, I signed up for it.  I am officially signed up for a triathlon.  Oh my word.