September Dread.

There's no denying it now.  The backpacks are full, zippers pulled tight.  Fingernails have been trimmed, hair cut.  New clothes laid out and lunches planned.  It looks like Summer, as we know it, is over.

It's been a great summer and while it will be nice to get back in a routine, I would be lying if I said I did not have a big shawl of September Dread wrapped around my shoulders the past few weeks.  I hate sending my kids back to school.

To be clear; I love their teachers.  (LOVE.)  I am so thankful that these kids love school and friends and all that goes with it.  Yes, it will be nice to have the house quiet and empty for a few hours here and there.  I could use the time to get caught up on housework and projects that I never got to.  And the kids?  Oh, they are all SO excited and ready.  Just not me.

Because the truth is, another school year is such a poignant reminder of how much older these kids are getting.  How much more independent, and how much closer to being all grown up.  This will be Sissy's last year at grade school!  How could that be?  And to imagine my sweet Garrett in 2nd grade?  In the same classroom he's been in since kindergarten?  (His teacher looped up!)  2nd grade- that's a big deal!  And then Carter, my baby who is not AT ALL anymore, will be one of the older kids in his mixed age preschool classroom.  It will be so cool to see how he takes that role- he's never been one of the 'big' kids anywhere.  Ever.

So, I will most likely be a little gloomy for a week or two.  And then I'll get into the rhythm.  The rhythm of volunteering in three classrooms.  The rhythm of soccer and dance and drivingdrivingdriving.  The rhythm of playdates and early bedtimes and quick mornings.  (Maybe the rhythm of regular blogging?)  And to help me out of the shawl of September Dread, I'm sure I'll get in the rhythm of coffee once in a while with other moms.

And before we know it, the school year will be flying by.

Madeline Jane, First Day of Preschool, September 2004